Excerpt Sunday 2


The Salacious Marny Ottwiler is one of my favorite books and one I hope to someday write a sequel to. Marny is sarcastic, irreverent, and her life is out of control, but she is also likable and really funny. You root for her throughout because as crazy as she is, she is who you would want to have as your best friend…

Say your prayers. Kneel down with me right now and pray harder than you have ever prayed before. This is going to take a massive groundswell kind of prayer. The sort that can bring our Lord and Savior to his senses. Repeat after me: “Dear God, let Marny get her period. To delay any further will be in no one’s best interest. Please, please, please put your petty differences aside and do what’s best for the world as a whole. She will do better. She will do the right thing as soon as she can figure out what that is, but have mercy on this tortured soul because regardless of how much enjoyment her squirming, twisting turmoil may bring you, it’s not right. Your job is to look at the big picture and it would appear that you have lost sight of that, no offense. Please reconsider as soon as possible, Amen.”

My period has never been more than a day or two late. We are at ten days and counting. This is bad, very, very bad. I cry at Kraft macaroni and cheese commercials. My boobs hurt, my stomach is upset, and I crave salt and burgers. Big juicy burgers with all the fixins. My hands have been known to shake in anticipation as I bring its juicy goodness to my lips, and then I savior every last bite. I am out of control, and too scared to confirm my worst fear. I don’t even know whose it would be. This cannot be happening.


About bridgetstraub

Author, Artist & Mom. First novel "Searching for My Wand" was published in December 2011
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