You should never have to choose between your kids. It’s just not right, and yet I am being made to do just that. As you know if you have read past blogs, I spent the summer up north with Tessa as she went to work for the first time, and then began college. Tori came up to visit several times, but she felt slighted, even though in truth she also enjoyed the independence of staying behind with her aunt. Tessa went off to college and I came home. Tori began her Junior year of high school and life went back to normal, or at least as normal as it ever gets.
Now a month has passed and I have the opportunity to return to N. California for a visit with not just Tessa, but my sister and those perfect grandbabies of hers. Naturally, Tori is jealous. I understand completely, and yet what do you do? Tessa is excited I am coming up and Tori will be coming up again in two weeks. During those two weeks, my sister will be gone for five days and has a sick dog who needs taking care of. It makes perfect sense for me to stay, and then come home when Tori and my other sister come up to celebrate Tessa’s 18th birthday. So why do I feel guilty? Because I feel as though I’m being forced to choose one child over the other.
Ideally I could come and go between both girls often, but life is not always so simple. The last thing I want is for Tori to feel as though she isn’t as important as Tessa. At the same time I don’t want Tessa to feel as though she has gone to college so we are done with her. Bottom line is, you can’t make everyone happy no matter how hard you try, (and God knows I’ve tried!) so in the end you have to do whatever feels the least wrong. This opportunity has presented itself and I’m going to go for it. I just wish I wasn’t going to feel so torn as I do.